Was this year a success?

So how did a whole year pass by since I started this blog? I just reread the first blog I did and it sounded very exciting for what I had hoped for 2017 to be.  Let me just say, it didn't quite live up to the plan (as usual).  I got side tracked, lost and even persuaded to not even do this blog anymore.  Which may have been a blessing to those couple people that may read my ramblings.  But the year wasn't a total failure.  I still struggle with the whole plan vs implement thing.  I still feel very overwhelmed at times with the pressures that I place on myself.  I have moments of great discouragement and despair that make me still want to hide away from the world. I still long for times that I have more time to do the things I want to do instead of learning to use the time I have more wisely.  But I do feel I have allowed me to give myself a little grace.  I am much better with NOT being the 100%.  I feel like I am ok with the little steps and small accomplishments to keep me moving in the right direction.  I have also grown weary of all the introspection of myself so I have spent some time instead studying the word.  Not as much time as I would prefer but it has allowed me to to quiet my thoughts just enough to hear from God through His word.  Of course He didn't answer my big questions yet, however, He has not only continued to pursue me, but reminded me of the basics that I need to build on first.  This year I have not made much progress on my physical journey or even my personal journey. Although, my spiritual journey has made a few steps forward and really, that is all that is important.  I've learned that I can't avoid pain or suffering altogether.  Studying 1 Peter makes that very clear as a Christian we can expect suffering, especially for Christ.  And if I want to be Christlike, it is a no brainer that I will have suffering and pain.  He will be with me through it of course, but I won't be able to avoid it all together.  This is a very huge concept for me. I am still unpacking all of it in my mind.  You see, I work very hard to not feel too deeply so I don't get hurt or feel pain.  It unfortunately causes me to miss out on deep joy and happiness at times.  I have a hard time letting go of that control.  But studying 1 Peter has been very helpful in acknowledging the need for change in this area.  I have also started studying the Armor of God and whoa! That has been a real eye opening to the enemy's attacks and ploys.  And also made me see that I just gave up on trying to fight the enemy.  That is a true part of me that I just gave up on.  I was ok being where Satan had me and I even knew it was him that had me there.  Oh boy! Anyway, all this to say, I hope to do more blogging this year to help unpack all of these things and to hopefully have progress in the other areas too. So here is to 2018! A clean slate to not start over, but to continue fresh.  I haven't quite found the balance yet but heres to thinking smaller. One thing at a time.  One step, one moment, one attempt, one day at a time.  Thanks again for those in my world.  Please help me keep this smaller perspective on things. Please continue to pray for and with me.  Please continue to remind me of the little things.